by Brooke Forry

In our little review of the four Balance Bound sections, we’ve saved the most complex for last: SELF.

The whole idea for this planner came about when I realized that I was making zero time to take care of myself and I was feeling completely burnt out and depleted from work, parenting, meal planning, chauffeuring, and household-running. I had started going to a few fitness classes each week, but I still felt some guilt about leaving my husband and kids for those evening and Saturday morning classes (which is so silly, but also a sad/frustrating reminder of how women have been conditioned to feel guilty and indulgent for taking care of ourselves.)

I realized, though, that when I broadly divided the different roles I play, and included a SELF section, it was glaringly obvious that I was barely taking care of myself at all.

A few fitness classes a week weren’t indulgent — they were literally all I was doing to take care of myself! It was time to reframe the narrative and make myself as much of a priority as I was making everyone else in my life. (Fellow people-pleasers, raise your hands!)

Amidst my revelation that I was actually doing very little to take care of myself, I was also testing the waters of activism and learning how I could get involved in making social change — something I had been ignorant of for basically my entire life because of my own privilege as a white, cisgender, heterosexual, middle class woman.

In this process, I learned more about the history and true meaning of self-care. The concept of self-care became a mainstream political act during the rise of the women’s movement and the civil rights movement in the 1960s.

Writer, feminist, and civil rights activist Audre Lorde said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

It’s a concept that most often has a resurgence in popularity after a big or traumatic event — such as 9/11, or the 2016 Presidential election — and its roots are tied to marginalized and oppressed communities who needed (and still need) to practice self-care in order to get back up again each day and continue fighting for justice and equity.

For those of us who are privileged enough to not carry those burdens, self-care can give us the ability to be better allies who fight even harder and louder for those who do.

Contrary to what Instagram may show us, self-care is not just sheet masks and shopping. While that pampering and indulgence may well be part of your self-care routine, it should be just one element of an ongoing process and practice that impacts your long-term well-being and also allows you to make a more positive contribution… to your family, your job, your community, and, ultimately, society.

My acts of self-care include regular exercise, going to therapy, building deeper connections with my friends, reading, creating art for fun, listening to audiobooks and favorite podcasts in the car and while cleaning, getting more sleep, and generally learning how to rest again after years of running myself ragged and parenting tiny people (who, among other things, ask for a LOT of snacks).

While I may not add EVERY single thing I do for self-care to my Balance Bound Planner (for instance, I just listen to podcasts every time I’m in the car alone, so now it’s an established self-care habit that I don’t even have to think about!), having that space at the forefront when I look at my daily to-dos every single day is an important reminder to figure out what makes me feel fulfilled and rested, and check in with myself regularly to make sure self-care is happening. If a full week has nothing filled in under the SELF section, I know it’s time to regroup and carve out time for myself.

What are your acts of self-care? What would you like to be doing more of?

Pre-order your 2020 Balance Bound Planner now to make your self-care a priority!

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